How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
