The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize