Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
