Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
