you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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