i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
