Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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