fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
