Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Someone shattered a urinal.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize