she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
