sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
