I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just want nice things and good sex
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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