Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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