got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
