Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
