btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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