I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
