Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
