My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize