i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
