ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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