Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
