No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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