I want to make a zoo with you.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
