I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
