either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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