you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
