Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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