I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
