Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
