i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
