Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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