Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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