i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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