Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i want to swaddle you in tequila
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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