Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
