Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize