I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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