There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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