carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
