I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she told me i tasted like america
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize