so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
