ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
