all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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