is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize