Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
