id be glad to
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
