Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
