it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
