On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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