sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
