he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
