Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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