Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
