I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This baby is an asshole
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
