She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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