It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
