just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
