In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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