So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
