Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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