The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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