new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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