i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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