Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize