you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
