We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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