Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
