just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
