So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
