Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
