North Korea, Best Korea!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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