I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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